The Sasquatch vs. The Fly: 10K Main Event

T’was a week ago this Saturday

A most beautiful morning I have to say

One perfect to run a blistering pace

With a sinister smile upon my face

During the Healthy Kidney 10k.

I was sure that I would dominate the whole way

Sprinting up hills while others just faded away

But as it would be

Something happened to me

And this wasn’t to be my day.

All was well during miles 1 to 3

Unleashing my legs and setting them free

Laying waste to the Central Park course

Like an unstoppable Sasquatchian force

But what happened next who could foresee.

Then somewhere between miles 3 and 4

I was assaulted by something I now abhor

T’was a tiny, insignificant little fly

One that my eye simply couldn’t spy

And, yes, you could say I’m a bit sore.

The little bastard turned kamikaze

And proceeded to fly directly at me

Steadily running 6:15s heading south

He took aim at my open mouth

And proceeded to exercise its hostility.

WHAM! A direct hit!

And my body was thrown into a fit

I began to dry heave and gag

Doubled over, I began to sag

Firing off round after round of spit.

To the man looking at me with a curious eye

I pointed to my mouth gasping, “Fly!”

He had no idea what I was saying

With the grotesqueness I was displaying

Which is too bad cause I felt like I could die!

Once I pulled myself together

It was time to decide whether

I should fight to regain my goal

The one the fly so villainously stole

Or if I had reached the end of my tether.

It was impossible to deny

The efficacy of the fly

And his attack on me

Which quite obviously

Made my body completely fry.

As I fought to regain my previous pace

I was then forced to face

The inevitable truth of the matter

That my stride could get no flatter

And this was not going to be my race.

My body felt totally tapped

My race plan completely scrapped

But I battled on right through the finish line

Cursing the fly’s damn bee-line

Still feeling like complete crap.

I finished in 40:41

But my work was far from done

As I turned back onto the course

Cheering a tour de force

Enjoying this fun in the sun.

So what does one learn from such a tale

Of running bliss, despite the fail

To always keep a watchful eye

For the next errant, vindictive fly

And its overwhelming desire to assail!